Follow Vishal Dutia on WordPress.comLit from within is the sole secure wayto traverse dark matter. Some life forms —certain mushrooms, snails, jellyfish, worms —glow bioluminescent, and people as well; weemit infrared light from our most lucent selves.Our tragedy is we can’t see it.We see by reflection. We need biofluorescenceto show our true colors. External illumination candistort, though. When gravity bends light, huge galaxyclusters can act as telescopes, elongating backgroundimages of star systems to faint arcs — a lensing effectlike viewing distant street lamps through a glass of wine.A glass of wine or two now makes me weaveas if acting a drunkard’s part; as if, besottedwith unrequited love for the dynamic Turnercanvases spied out by the Hubble, I could lurchdown a city street set without provokingevery pedestrian walk-on stare.Stare as long as you need to. If you think about it,walking, even standing, is illogical — such tiny things,feet! — especially when one’s body is not al denteanymore. Besides, creature of extremes and excess,I’ve always thought Apollo beautiful but boring,a bit of a dumb blonde. Dionysians don’t do balance.Balance, in other words, has never beenmy strong point. But I digress. Moreand more these days, digressionseems the most direct route throughfrom where I’ve lost or found myselfout of place, mind, turn, time.Place your foot just so, mind how you turn:too swift a swivel can bring you down. Take your timeushering the audience out, saying goodbyeto the actors. The ghost lightis what they call the single bulb hangingabove the bare stage in an empty theater.In the empty theater of such a night, waking to meetno external radiance, this is the final struggle left to win,this the sole beacon to beckon the darkness in and let the restbegin, this the lens through which at last to see both Selfand Other arrayed with the bright stain of original sin:lit from within.
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