Why these but?

During the night I can’t stop my self from asking the questions that haunt me
I have stayed up countless night not able to sleep because of my fear of having to much to fear
For example if there 7.2 million people on this planet that I’m so minuscule that I’m nothing but a number
If there’s millions of atoms in a human body than to an atom I’m greater or equal to a world
And at the same time my number of atoms in my body compare nothing to that of a universe so my existence is meaning less
And yet I still ask why because I’m just stupid enough to understand that I don’t have a meaning if I ask what my meaning is like countless others
Countless because no one cares to count the number of meaningless thoughts we have

Why am i writting so rubbish.

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